WILLIAM: Excuse me.
THIEF : Yes.
WILLIAM: Bad news.
WILLIAM : We’ve got a security camera in this bit of the shop.
THIEF : So?
WILLIAM : So, I saw you put that book down your trousers.
THIEF : What book?
WILLIAM: The one down your trousers.
THIEF : I haven’t got a book down my trousers.
WILLIAM : Right — well, then we have something of an impasse. I
tell you what —
I’ll call the police — and, what can I say? If I’m wrong
about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, I
THIEF : Okay — what if I did have a book down my trousers?
WILLIAM : Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk, you’d remove
the Cadogan guide to Bali from your trousers, and
either wipe it and put it back, or buy it. See you in a
WILLIAM : Sorry about that…
ANNA : No, that’s fine. I was going to steal one myself but now I’ve
changed my mind. Signed by the author, I see.
WILLIAM : Yes, we couldn’t stop him. If you can find an unsigned
copy. It’s worth an absolute fortune.
THIEF: Excuse me.
THIEF: Can I have your autograph?
ANNA: What’s your name?
THIEF: What does it say?
ANNA: Well, that’s the signature – and above, it says ‘Dear Rufus –
you belong in jail.’
THIEF: Nice one. Would you like my phone number?
ANNA: Tempting but… no, thank you
ANNA: I think I will try this one.
WILLIAM: Oh — right — on second thoughts maybe it wasn’t that
bad. Actually– it’s a sort of masterpiece really.
None of those childish kebab stories. you get in so
many travel books these days. And I’ll throw in one of
these for free.
WILLIAM: Very useful for fighting fires, wrapping fish, that sort of